Time to bombard Kevin Lowe!
With letters, that is. The fan club executive has already decided that when the time comes for Ulanov's retirement, there will be a retirement party in the name of Ulanov. this party will be held somewhere classy, like perhaps the Powerplant, and I will drink one too many pints of a classy beer, like UAGD, to drown my sorrows. It could be followed by loss of consciousness in the middle of quad. Anyway, I'd like to delay that sort of thing by at least a year. That's where you come in, folks.
See this picture? It's from the 19 December game against Calgary, in which Ulanov scored not one, but two goals (I just finished watching the highlights from that game again. It makes me happy every time)! This alone proves his awesomeness. Letter Writing Campaign Numéro Dos is in order. In this one, we have more time than the last, so I will become very aggressive in trying to get people to participate. Our goal? To get Lowe to re-sign Ulanov for next season. A lost cause (maybe), but a cause nonethelesss. I declare the weeks of 22 May-4 June to be the Weeks of Trying to get Ulanov Re-signed (WTUR).
- Once again, use your manners. Rudeness never gets you anywhere, and there is far too much of it in society already.
- Don't knock the other players. You can mention others' strengths or weaknesses, but don't makederogatoryy comments.
- Pretend your life depends on the re-signing of Ulanov.
- For the love of God, use grammar and spellcheck (although it will insist that Ulanov is not a word).
There are a couple of options for you. You can write your own letter and then mail it to the address below. Please let me know if you have written one so I can keep a count going (you can e-mail us), and if you're particularly proud of your letter, e-mail it to us and we'll put it up here.
There's a second option for you as well. If you know nothing about Ulanov or hockey (or are just too lazy to write a letter) and stumbled upon this blog by accident while searching for the French Backstreet Boys Fan Club or trying to find out if Shawn Horcoff is married (he is), then e-mail us and I will write one for you. You will have to print it out, sign it, and mail it (otherwise it will just look like I sit in my basement and write letters from fake people...and that won't help the cause). An exception to this rule: If I know you, I will write it for you, print it out, drive to your house (provided it's in the Edmonton area), get you to sign it and then I will mail it for you. Also, tell your friends. I can do the same for them.
Mr. Kevin Lowe
Edmonton Oilers Hockey Club
Edmonton, AB T5G 3H7
There you have it. Please participate in WTUR, and I will be forever grateful. Ladies and gents, start your word processors (or your pens/pencils)!