Thursday, April 27, 2006

And the answer isn't Samsonov.

This is a post about many things. But first, a riddle: What comes from Russia and looks ridiculously attractive when sprayed by a spray-bottle? If you answered Igor Ulanov in the new playoff video, then you would be correct.

I went to tonight's game with high hopes. It was my first ever playoff game. It was also The 60-minute Detroit powerplay, or some might know it better as "Fans become downright pissed off and start throwing so much debris onto the ice that the booming voice has to remind people not to throw stuff onto the ice, which prompts people to throw beer onto the ice." Then the cops came out. Yes, that was some of the worst officiating I have ever seen. And the crowd didn't like it. I was excited at the beginning of the game when the screen said that Tarnstrom wasn't dressed...but then it said that Ulanov wasn't dressed either. Not that I expected him to be, but there's always that little glimmer of hope, deep within my blue and copper soul. I don't think Ulanov would have taken three penalties.

I liked looking at signs at the game. Some I can remember: "CBC: Chelios Beats Children," "Manny's Playoff Legacy: Being Outplayed By Roloson," "Chellios [sic], Smellios," and plenty talking about frying wings in oil. There was a drunken Vancouver fan in front of us who was loudly cheering for the Oilers, but was in tears by the third period for some reason. He was endlessly entertaining with all of his antics, including his inability to unfold his chair...or to not order beer.

In other news, I appear to be growing playoff eyebrows. Unfortunately they're not very impressive because they're blond and you can barely see them anyway. Also, I'm incapable of growing a unibrow. But I haven't plucked them in a really long time.

One of the things that I find endlessly amusing is how people find our nice little corner of the internet. We've had people searching for a Mike Morrison Fan Club, a Raffi Torres fan club, a Hockey Beer Fan Club, pictures of Dvorak, Pronger and Horcoff, questions regarding the sexual orientation of Shawn Horcoff, a French Backstreet Boys Fan Club, Curtis Sanford and...a Todd Bertuzzi Fan Club. This last one came at a time when I found a second picture of Bertuzzi attempting to take out Ulanov. Here at the Unofficial Ulanov Fan Club we're not big fans of Bertuzzi. In fact, we dislike him so much that we search the internet for pictures of him being a prick. Ok, ok...this may be a legit hit. But hands off Ulanov!

Ok, I'm going to go and try to wipe off the last of the blue and orange paint off of my face (because showing up to a playoff game without it should be illegal), but seriously. Next up: excerpts from our noble attempt.


Anonymous Scarlett said...

I too held out hope that Igor would be for Tarnstrom, but alas it was not to be. That damn Greene was, argh!!!

I saw you at the game all painted up! Awesome!!! You're right, if you don't come painted, don't come at all!

What a great game yesterday!! Now if they'd only put the other Russian in the game! The better Russian! Come MacT!!!

8:24 AM, April 30, 2006  
Blogger DonECoyote said...

A certain %50 of the fan club exec is extremely tired/in firefighting training. It is a living hell, just like not seeing Igor play.

4:03 PM, April 30, 2006  
Blogger the Prez said...

One is physical torment, the other is emotional torment. I'm sorry that you get the "best" of both worlds. By the light of the Gibbous moon, you will take those fires by storm!

9:27 AM, May 01, 2006  

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