Monday, July 31, 2006



In other news, there's a new blog in town. Ladies and gentlemen, we proudly present to you hot oil. Just when you thought the mullet was untouchable.

Tuesday, July 25, 2006

On paper

My passion for Ulanov has found a new medium. Enter U of A's finest newspaper, The Gateway.

I'll be gone for a few days, so i hope nothing exciting happens while I'm away.

Saturday, July 22, 2006

Nice to see that he didn't get much of a haircut...

Well, the playoff hair is gone. But so are the playoffs.

Ulanov was on TSN's "Off the Record" on Wednesday. He was on a side with Body Break's Hal Johnson (who should never be seen in public without the missus, Joanne McLeod).

Now the first topic up for discussion was regarding the obligation to contracts. They discussed Peca (the lazy regular season whiner), for some reason. Then came Pronger. Ulanov and Hal Johnson supported Pronger's right to disregard a contract and move wherever the hell he wanted. I'd have to disagree here, obviously, but Igor could not very well go on television and dump all over his former teammate so he didn't really have much of a choice. Or, more likely, Igor does indeed support Pronger and his decision to enrage Edmontonians.

Then they talked about baseball, or something equally as boring and the star said hardly anything.

I, on the other hand, have never met Pronger and am completely ignorant to the reality of Pronger's situation. I will trash him as much as I please. I have approximately four months to get my booing voice ready.

I see that the Oilers have signed yet another defenceman who has never played in the NHL. You know, there are still Unrestricted Free Agent defenceman who have played a season or two or fourteen in the NHL.

A reminder: Keep fit and have fun.

Sunday, July 16, 2006

Now that's more like it!

Look who is appearing on TSN's Off the Record on Wednesday...


Thanks to Oilfans Forum members extraordinaire Adam (for e-mailing me about it) and Motorheadache (for starting a thread about it).

Ultimate Fighting Chamionship!?

It appears that the entry in Wikipedia on Ulanov (see side bar) has been updated by somebody who finds apostrophes to be rather loathsome. It wasn't me. I enjoy apostrophes (when used correctly), and if I felt the need to add senseless crap I most definitely would have added that he is one of the sexiest men alive.

The Mangler = awesome
Ultimate Fighting Championship = some jackass is trying too hard

Thursday, July 13, 2006

Welcome to Fantasyland. You had better start calling him "captain."

After much thought and much ridicule, I have finally completed my fantasy hockey team. It is a rather large team, and I had to bring a few people out of retirement in order to create the sort of team that I dream about at night. I don't have a name for the team yet, but if you have any suggestions you can let me know. Here are captain Igor and his defensive partner, the lovely Mr. Kravchuk. When looking at the team, you can leave the cursor over the link and a box might pop up with my comments about the players. Also, my apologies to Ruslan Salei on being cut from the team, due to the fact that his defensive partner turned out to by a six-foot-five traitor. Those kinds of people are not welcome on my team. Before we begin, please click here for a humourous story about everyone's favourite Canadian, Boris Mironov.

Heather's Fantasy Team:

Grand Masters of Goaltending:
Bob Essensa #30 (picture)
Grant Fuhr #31 (picture)
Mike Morrison #1
Ryan Miller #3

Bosses of the Blueline:
Igor Double Trouble
Igor Ulanov 'C' #55 and Igor Kravchuk #21
Alphabet Neighbours
Janne Niinimaa #44 and Boris Mironov 'A' #2
The Pair with Almost Nothing in Common
Roman Hamrlik #4 and Scott Ferguson #23

Ferocious Forwards (I apparently felt the need to have seven lines):
First Line: Kariya gets the honour
Paul Kariya #9 - Wayne Gretzky 'A' #99 - Jari Kurri #17
Second Line: A Finn sandwich
Miroslav Satan #32 - Saku Koivu #87 - Martin Havlat #24
Third Line: Russian and/or Ugly
Maxim Afinogenov #61 - Mike Ricci #40 - Alexander Ovechkin #8
Fourth Line: The Eastern Birthplace Triangle
Alex Tanguay #18 - Mike York #16 - Dan Cleary #7
Fifth Line: My other assistant captain is on the fifth line
Jason Chimera #25 - Boyd Devereaux #15 - Fernando "Pants" Pisani 'A' #34
Sixth Line: For the love of God, this is taking forever
Jochen Hecht #59 - Mats Lindgren #14 - Anson Carter #77
Seventh Line: Gritty yet delicious
Brad Isbister #75 - Rem Murray #22 - Todd Harvey #13

Team Toilet Scrubbers:
They are required to scrub the toilets with toothbrushes, and they must hold them in their mouths.
Rod Brind'Amour
Chris Chelios
Sean Avery
Teemu Selanne

Wednesday, July 05, 2006

Goodbye, Jaroslav.

Well, it seems that the Oilers are quickly running out of defensive options. Just in case Lowe has forgotten about certain UFAs, I've posted here a crudely-drawn picture of Igor Ulanov scoring on Roberto Luongo. Just something to think about.

In other news, we might be fucked.

Saturday, July 01, 2006

Igor Ulanov: UFA

So now that Ottawa re-signed Redden...

Also, Happy Canada Day. Don't bring down Whyte. Georges would not approve.