Monday, June 26, 2006

5 days and counting...

Ulanov has five days left of Oilers membership. How will he spend these last five days? I have my fingers crossed as always that there will be some kind of miracle will come upon us. All I have to say to Mr. Lowe at this point is, I'll bet Ulanov is one defenceman whose agent wouldn't whine for a trade.

Speaking of miracles, though, someone found this site by searching for "Igor, I believe in miracles." Very awesome indeed. Some other Igor-related queries: "Igor gets you," (Yeah, he really just understands), "What regular season game Igor Ulanov not played missed," and "Igor mania" (every day here is Igor mania). We also had searches for "Pronger Peca married" (both are, but not to each other), "5 letter name for an Edmonton Oiler hockey player" (answer: great), "Staios address" (and here come the stalkers), and "Raffi Torres supermodel" (not with facial hair like that). Now that I've had my fun pretending to be an Edmonton Sun editor, here are the completely non-hockey searches: "pictures from O'Byrnes pub," "world's classiest beards," "how to write a French letter to a co-worker in an accident," and my personal favourite, "the official Lurch fan club."

I'm almost finished setting the lines for my fantasy hockey team. Wayne Gretzky is an assistant captain.

Wednesday, June 21, 2006

Sorry. I was at a loss for words.

Wow. I think I'll always remember where I was when the Oilers lost the Stanley Cup to that big-lipped captain and his Alberta-born posse. I was in my friend Dave's basement where I was drinking a lot og MGD. Everyone was speechless after the loss. I drank more beer and ate a fudgesicle, but nothing helped. We were devestated.

It didn't matter that the Oilers weren't supposed to get this far, but they overcame the obstacles and made it anyway. Fans just started to expect them to win most of their games, and after Game 6 (if not before), I think that most people thought deep down that the Oilers would bring home the Cup. I no longer believe in destiny. I have plucked my playoff eyebrows after letting them police themselves for the last two months.

That being said, the Oilers should still be proud of themselves. I doubt that pride is what they're feeling right now, but they did make it a lot further than anyone had originally thought they would. They all pulled togather and Jussi came through when the team needed him. And they made it past Calgary this post season.

July 1 looms closer with every passing day. There used to be some debate over whether or not Igor Ulanov would get his name put on the Cup if they won (having only played 37 games in the regular season. I'd like to think that after fourteen years in the NHL, someone would try their hardest to get his name on there). That debate no longer matters. Ulanov is a free agent after Canada Day, and I keep my fingers crossed. Reality points to retirement, but I hold onto hope that a team picks him up for another season.

In other news, it was VP Don E. Coyote's 23rd birthday yesterday. He is currently working out of town fighting forest fires with limited internet access. I should have mentioned this earlier. He is not being a delinquent fan club member.

Below I have posted some pictures from happier times.

See you in Churchill Square tomorrow. Only in Edmoton, folks!

1. Manny's playoff legacy indeed!
2. Jason and I at a San Jose playoff game.
3. The Oilers warmup before the only game they lost to anaheim.
4. Whyte Ave. celebrations before the avenue became a mini police state.
5. The Riot squad.
6. A cop and I on Whyte during celebrations in round 3.
7. Game 3 of the Stanley Cup finals. What a happy time!
8. Jason and I with one of the orange suit guys in front of the bus that almost took us to Raleigh.
9. My colourful tub of Noxzema after I washed the paint off of my face for the last time.

Sunday, June 18, 2006

I almost went to Raleigh last night.

Seriously. I ran into my uncle outside of Rexall Place, and his friend had a huge motorhome bus type contraption. They were going to go, and I secured myself a spot on the bus. Then after two hours of research, thinking, and sobering up, reality told us that it would be impossible to drive down in time for the game. It's a forty-four hour drive.

I've also decided, after putting a tremendous amount of thought into it, that I'm going to get an Oilers themed tattoo should we be the Cup winners tomorrow. This was previously something I only thought of while drunk. I was planning to get my next tattoo in August anyway, so it just makes sense.

This post has nothing to do with Igor Ulanov, but I remind you that he is clearly a great individual. He has a dinner club, after all.

Here we go Oilers, here we go!

Coming up next, I put forth my fantasy hockey team. It involves bringing people out of retirement. You'd better believe Ulanov will be the captain.

Wednesday, June 14, 2006

Holding on to hope!

Courtesy of Oilfans forum member extraordinaire, Janet.

Friday, June 09, 2006

The Mangler!

Wikipedia talks Ulanov!

Thanks to my brother, the humourously named Steve Smith, for pointing this out.

Wednesday, June 07, 2006

Meet your new goaltender

That's right, not the body. Just the face (pictured here wearing my attempt at a goalie mask. I know it looks more like an Oilers-themed umpire mask. Or a bunch of colourful lines).

I tried to post this before tonight's sickening debacle, but the Blogger gods would have none of that. Anyway, after Bergeron's botched assassination attempt (but seriously, save your booing for the opposing team) that left our beloved team in a depressing goalie lurch, jokes arose about putting Ulanov in net. He's good at blocking pucks with his face, people say. A friend of mine likened his face to an old catcher's mitt. I think that's a bit harsh, unless he was referring to a particularly attractive catcher's mitt. Then I would have to strongly agree.

The Fan Club executive would like to extend its congratulations to Mr. Stoll who, in addition to racking up nine points thus far in the playoffs, has also apparently snagged Sean Avery's supermodel ex-ladyfriend. I guess the only question that remains is, does she have a friend for Raffi?

Friday, June 02, 2006

Blogger ate my homework...and Igor Ulanov has a dinner club!

I would have posted yesterday, but Blogger decided to eat the really long post I wrote like Blogger was a member of Ulanov's dinner club and my post was some kind of pasta. That was lame, I know. But it does bring us to our next point:
I'm sure you've all heard about this by now. I had heard of this club a while back, but now it has been confirmed. Because of that article, they may have to find a new favourite restaurant because screaming girls may hold a stakeout and interrupt the players' meals by attempting to sit on Stoll's lap.

In some exciting news, I placed the winning bid on a rare gem at the Oilers online auction. A gem that saw Ulanov's first goal of the season.

It's now time for another edition of How Crazy People Found the Fan Site!
Most people who find the site by using a search engine find it by searching for the Ulanov fan Club, however we still get a grab bag of other interesting searches.
The Horcoff question: For the love of God, Horcoff is married. I didn't know there were that many ways to ask if Horcoff was married. But there are. So keep your hands to yourselves, ladies. Also, someone found the site searching for "who is Kevin Lowe married to." I can't answer that one, sorry.
Fan clubs for other players: Pronger is the most popular choice, but there are several searches for Torres and Samsonov, as well (including a search for "Igor Samsonov"). We've also had ones this time searching for fan clubs for Todd Harvey, Craig MacTavish and Matt Greene, as well as "Tarnstrom Fan." There was also a hit from " 'Matt Greene' Russia."
There are males lurking all over the internet trying to find some tits, as we have had people searching for " www.oilfans tits ", "Edmonton Oiler sexy fans," and "Oilers tits fan."
The search for just plain old "Igor Ulanov," minus the "fan club" part also comes up a lot, but we have had a search each for "Ulanov Dinner Party," "Pants off for Ulanov [I'm so proud]"and "Igor drinks night club." Because it's possible to drink a night club.
We've had one hit from someone searching for a player of old, Yvan Cournoyer.
There were also two hits that had nothing to do with hockey, and they were "Massenhoven Riding Club," and "Norris Chuck Fan Club Address Postal USA."

Remember: WTUR is coming close to ending. Some people have promised to right their own letters, but I have yet to see anything. to those people I told I'd write letters for, they're coming tomorrow.